The end of our galley kitchen had been re-purposed for a small elderly woman. Everything was made shorter for her use, and although she didn’t really do anything, she was always busy bustling around. The rest of the kitchen that we used every day was bumped out into the main room a bit more, and it looked very odd. We’d had to relocate the sink, so this wasn’t a minor inconvenience. I wondered when things would return to normal because the oddness of it bothered me.
I worked as an aide to a incredibly smart, powerful man I greatly admired, someone I would like to be closer to. I worked shirtless, which continually bothered me, always, always bothers me. But in context it was somehow a sign of practicality.
My friend was smitten with my boss’ smaller brother, who was Michael Landon. He was actually much smaller. Even though he was an adult, standing next to my boss he was child-sized. We were all working together and needed to locate some supplies in a freezer room, and my friend was mortified & heartbroken when she fell on Michael Landon and crushed him because she was trying to follow so closely and get his attention.
While we were getting food to use from the big room full of freezers, I broke the bad news to my boss about his brother being crushed, but had a lot of trouble remembering Michael Landon’s name. I was burdened for some other reason I don’t know, some duress of the job I had endured for a long time, and he put his arm around my shoulders to comfort me. I pressed my head against his chest and nestled there. It was very comforting, and I wanted it to be like this always; to feel comforted and not exposed.
Part of the time, I was outside and it was like a resort. There was a beach, and natural beauty to explore. But it was a little scary. I was wary of dangers.
I had also gone to a restaurant, where I was surprised to find one of my friends leading a book club. A well known book franchise published a new version about marriage. But his book club was studying the Spanish version so intently, with such animated discussion, I could see that it was a much more significant book than I’d thought. It was as if the title had been “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, in Marriage”. You’d assume you knew what the book was about, but I realized it had to be much more than I’d assumed.
Disrupted kitchen – accommodation for a lack of purpose, or distractedness
Michael Landon – an angel, a heavenly figure, a famous person
Boss – much bigger than Michael Landon; The Lord
Outside – freedom, outer life with risks to be taken
The book club – people to connect with from other perspectives who may describe things in a different language
Exploring the beach – experiences in my outer life
Crushing Michael Landon – a “crush” compared to “true love”? Small idols collapse under our worship.
Being held- taking comfort in The One Who Holds Me
Observing the book club- learning from an unexpected source
Key Feelings: bothered, purposeful, insecure, comforted, openness
Message to the Dreamer:
Little One, you are bothered by the disorderliness of distraction in daily work, the mundane things, but in the venue where you are exploring, you feel insecure. Such is life!
That may never change because it is such a normal part of this life. But as you continue to move in new directions you will notice being bothered by it less. Keep exploring!
Turn to The One Who Holds You often. God is always there, ready to give comfort and strength. Readily confess everything to him, because this removes any distance between you. Your Comforter is not a demigod who can be crushed. He is worthy, and he is able.
Even while you feel insecure and bothered by distractions, when you keep following him, he leads you into your room full of provision, as often as you need it. He is happy to take you there. And he is happy to show you wisdom and revelation in unexpected places. When you follow him you will find things in common with others when you thought there was nothing in common. Call no one unclean, because you can’t judge a book by its cover.